so I filled this out. Figured id share it publicly for more pain for pleasure! My pain is your gain!
What makes you qualified to hold this office, and if applicable, better qualified than your opponents? *
Being qualified as a candidate has been a great honor and the result of having at least 25 verified signatures of registered voters, meeting some basic residency requirements set out by state and local statute, and meeting the strenuous minimum age requirements. Because my platform includes a four-fold approach to city management through Corruption, Hypocrisy, Influence, and Taxes (CHIT), I must admit that I envy the political experience of my opponents and find it difficult to compete. Being a political newbie, I am not well acquainted with the hidden power structure that helps funnel massive amounts of money into the political arena for private gain from public resources. I would like to say that in order to ensure steady transfer of political titles to buttress a behind-the-scenes maintenance of continual influence, I cannot provide that safe passage. I have no access to the fountains of dark money to distribute. Don’t be a Fool, Don’t Vote for Sewell as a means to secure a more efficient implementation of CHIT.
Given the news of the failings of a few prominent officials recently, what will you do to restore faith and trust in public institutions in Nashville and Davidson County? *
The entertainment value of local politics has really pared in comparison to the national stage. Faith and trust have become marketing tools and campaign promises. I believe to a certain extent the general public understands that you don’t vote for the institutions, because they are entrenched and the real people pulling the strings aren’t really going anywhere. Yeah, someone got a little too much power and footnotes became headlines; and, the arsonists were acting like its no big deal some bridges got burned because of the water moving under them. Faith and trust do not abound, because now more people have been made aware that power is a dangerous thing, even in the hands of a progressive politico. You can elect a new store manager but they really just want to act like owners, taking profits and long vacations. But the problem is power corrupts. Those who want power, really just want their piece of the pie. Power works best in the hands of those who don’t want it.
What are you hearing most from voters about what they want you to accomplish, if elected? *
Voters’ responses to my campaign run the spectrum from bewilderment to befuddlement and back again. I encourage the theater and embrace the spectacle now! They say, “Good Luck” and I respond “God Forbid!” But then I wonder could I really do any worse?
Describe a difficult decision you had to make in life or professionally and how you resolved it? *
I love this question! Literally a job interview question taken from a basic application template, this is a standard-issue doozy. Most of my difficult decision making in my professional life has been making sure I make enough to cover expenses for me and my family and pay back any debts owed. I have discovered that while a lot of those difficult decisions are widely shared, it’s also important to remember that there are some people who will never experience that daily struggle. Born into privilege and without worry. Pity the poor souls at the top getting all that cheese only to find out it has holes in it. I can say some of my most difficult professional decisions have not been based on how much I can get away with without being caught- because I wont get caught!
Describe a mistake you made in your career and how you recovered from it? *
I’m really enjoying the fact that a mayoral campaign would have to fill out a job application question. Because I have had and still maintain several different career trajectories, I get to make all sorts of mistakes. Why be limited? I still make mistakes every single day, and some I learn from and some end up snowballing to the point where you’re filling out job-related questionnaires in your bathtowel after getting home late and taking a shower at midnight but really wanting to turn your homework in on time even though you’re nearing 40. Keep making mistakes! Don’t stop living in the red.
Will you commit to being civil in how you present yourself and the way you interact with opponents and others? *
This question is a difficult one to answer mostly because the substance (the meat to sink the logical teeth into) is ill-defined. As men and women of letters, we know that words matter. But their use is contingent on meaning. If I use a word with varied and general meanings, its hard to say boo on something slightly good. If we approach “being civil” as a virtue, we know that its not something learned or occasionally applied, its an intrinsic element of someone’s practice. Sure, everyone’s going to say, “Yeah, Ill be civil” even though both parties haven’t even settled on a precise definition. If you wish to converse, define you terms. The definition of terms is the path to wisdom. But without it, anyone cay say they are civil, even though they be kleptocratic (corrupt), self-denying (hypocritical), inconsistent (influenced) sophists (taxing our patience).
Is there anything else you would like us to know about you, your values and priorities? *
I got into this because I thought I could poke a little fun, and tell some jokes about pitiful public resource management, but its really a pitifully serious comedy. Its all an act, and not just from me if Im being humbly honest. This city is experiencing the most rapid and well-financed growth it has ever seen, and yet somehow we cant make ends meet as a city? We’re so desirous of being chosen that we’re subsidizing new friendships: literally paying thru write-downs, and fill-ups of private coffers. We got the power but squandered it. The Trojan horse of incentives, subsidies and benefits have kicked up enough growth that its kicked back a Pyrhric victory to the people. We have the resources people are looking for, but the shopkeep has declared a winners-take-all fire sale to liquidate public potential, but its a members only discount with few available openings.